Personal reflections
Long story short, for the last few years I have struggled with various aspects of a difficult and mystifying set of chronic symptoms. Recently, I came across a possible cause with a corresponding treatment that might greatly reduce or eliminate my symptoms. Whether or not it works for me, I have heard and seen amazing stories of transformation and I am in awe of the amazing design God in His wisdom has placed in the body to restore function. Specifically, in this case, I am in awe of the neuroplasticity of the brain that enables lost function to be restored through alternate neural networks.
It made me think of the many ways that we take the body's ability to heal for granted, saving the term "miracle" for only the instantaneous. But the human body itself is such a testament to the intelligent and complex design given by our Creator. It also got me thinking that God's miracles aren't limited to physical healing, but go much farther beyond.
So here are my ponderings as I reflect on three types of miracles amid chronic illness.
Instantaneous healing. There are times that God shows His power and grace through instantaneous healing. These are the most obvious miracles--the ones we think of first--and maybe the only ones we think of when the word "miracle" comes up. They are recorded in Scripture and have been reported at times throughout the world. A blind man sees, a deaf man hears, a lame man walks again, metastasized cancer disappears, and many other variations. In general, these are unexpected healings, healing that happens apart from medical predictions or interventions. It may be obvious that God's supernatural power is involved, as there is no other explanation that syncs up with the situation.
God's design. There are times that God shows His wisdom and grace through His design in creating the human body, specifically the ability for certain parts to heal on their own. The liver can regenerate, broken bones mend themselves, the brain creates new neural networks to recover lost function. These can often be taken for granted, as "they are just what the body does".
But the Creator of these pathways is the source of these healings as well! Broken table legs don't repair themselves, no matter how long you leave a binding around them. Partially burned buildings don't rebuild themselves over time. If a cell phone is dropped and the computer is damaged, it won't create new computer pathways to regain its function--though if a programmer were able to create that ability, the intelligence would be a testament ultimately to the designer, not the phone! Similarly, the human body's design and the ability to heal on its own is an amazing testament to God's wisdom and grace to provide ways for our bodies to heal "naturally." This "natural" has been designed by the ultimate Supernatural.
God's provision in the midst of continued suffering (that is, no physical change).
At first glance, this is not clearly within the definition of a miracle, and so it is often overlooked. Is it a miracle if an injured or ill person remains ill or injured?
Where is the miraculous in that?
And yet, to me, this is in some ways the most amazing miracle of all. Or perhaps the most important miracle of all. Our bodies are temporary, yet our souls are eternal. That doesn't mean that we don't care about how our bodies feel, as I'll be the first to admit. I strongly prefer health over dysfunction--I've spent the last 5 years endeavoring to optimize my health and regain lost or distorted function. And yet, if I had to choose between a healthy body or a healthy soul, the second is more valuable by far. Sure, my first preference would be complete health in all categories, but my heart and soul is of ultimate importance.
(As a clarification, brokenness or illness doesn't automatically lead to strength. Obviously, if it did, I wouldn't be referring to this as a miracle.)
A broken leg, if not aligned properly, can create significant dysfunction and pain. Similarly, a broken spirit can lead to dysfunction and pain, which manifests as discouragement and frustration, despair and lack of hope, affecting the soul deeply.
And I think that may be the default route our hearts take apart from a miracle. Our natural response (or at least mine) is to be frustrated, irritated, and discouraged by discomfort, pain, and dysfunction. And the greater (or longer) the health challenge, the greater the frustration and discouragement, at least in default mode. And yet we see God at work in the midst of suffering to bring joy and hope to what may seem like a bleak or hopeless situation. And to me that is the ultimate miracle--hope to the hopeless, joy to the discouraged, strength for the weak.
There are many stories of God's grace and provision of hope and strength in the midst of significant challenges, including major health challenges. Both in the more well-known stories and also in regular individuals whose lives and character were strengthened through their struggles. There is Paul, who pleads with God to remove an intense challenge from his life, but finds that God's grace is sufficient; there is Joni, who has lived as a quadriplegic for decades, yet has found joy in God's work in and through her life; there is my grandpa, whose series of significant health challenges shaped his gentle and kind spirit, gave him hope that came through spending time with His Savior, and led to a joyful and eager expectation of heaven.
Testimonies of God's grace and mercy, not in the form of physical healing, but in God's work in their hearts and the strength He gave to meet the challenge of chronic illness.
I can look back throughout my own life and see God's grace and provision that was not an exemption from the challenge or the pain (though that was my desired form of grace), but the provision of strength, comfort, and joy through His presence.
I can see the daily provision of hope and peace that didn't align with my circumstances but did align with my hope that He would work all things for good.
This is not to say that I delighted in the suffering (I didn't) or always partook of the grace He offered me (also, I didn't). There are plenty of times that I would revert to looking to my own strength and my own wisdom. I became overwhelmed, irritated, and frustrated with the challenges I faced and the discomfort and problems my illness brought to me. But Christ has been patient with me. He has gently restored me and He continues to offer His grace and presence when I repeatedly stray away from trusting and relying on Him.
The inevident miracle, the ultimate miracle
For some reason, my understanding of God's power and wisdom causes the first two to make sense to me. Obvious sense. Of course the Creator can restore His creation, healing disease and dysfunction. Of course He has the wisdom and power to give the body tools to heal itself to heal and regrow (though this is still very amazing to me, awe-inspiring). But to change mind and soul, to bring light to darkness, hope to despair, life to death? That is the ultimate miracle.
I don't know about you, but I don't usually think of pain or difficulty as a blessing. And yet often it is in the midst of our hardest circumstances and our greatest brokenness that Christ is at work in our hearts, changing us to see His presence, His power, and His love. Working to create in us more loving hearts, more joyful spirits, resilience in the midst of difficulty.
He is at work in these trials, and though I don't enjoy the hardship that is occurring, I can give thanks for the ways He has brought me through them and look to Him for the daily help and strength that I need.
And I'm encouraged as I hear much greater stories of faith than my own--of those who have gone before me and those who currently struggle with life's challenges and trials but find joy and hope in the Lord. These stories encourage me to keep moving, keep trusting, keep hoping.
This new program might help me (some positive signs already, yay!), but either way, my hope is not in this program or in my healing, but in my Savior. And He will provide for me, whatever comes my way. He goes before me and is not surprised by the challenges I face.
These lyrics from Dustin Kensrue's song "Rejoice" remind me of this truth:
All our sickness, all our sorrows
Jesus carried up the hill
He has walked this path before us
He is walking with us still
Turning tragedy to triumph
Turning agony to praise
There is blessing in the battle
So take heart and stand amazed
Rejoice, when you cry to Him He hears
Your voice, He will wipe away your tears
Rejoice, in the midst of suffering
He will help you sing
Rejoice, come and lift your hands and
Raise your voice, He is worthy of our praise
Rejoice, sing of mercies of your King
And with trembling rejoice
