HOPE

After this journey these past few weeks (a journey that ultimately spans over the past few years and beyond), I’ve come back to the song, Even If:

https://youtu.be/B6fA35Ved-Y?si=iRM2DxUp_Qe0MNCv

It has been meaningful in my journey since I first heard it, but there has been a change in emphasis after these past few weeks.

From the beginning, the cry of this song has resonated with me—the sorrow, the grief, the clinging on to trust, the surrender. And those aspects are still there.

But there is a new emphasis taking the foreground—hope. Not necessarily hope or promise that circumstances are guaranteed to change. But that even if circumstances don’t change, there is vibrant hope available. There is always hope because there is always God.

In my own human understanding, my best case scenario is the resolution of the struggle by absence of the trial. But that is not the only situation that contains hope. It may be that God’s answer to that my situation is “wait” (with an indefinite ending to my sight) or “no”.

And God is asking me, “Will you still hope in Me? Will you treasure Me?” Is my hope in the gift or the Giver? Is my treasure in the easing of the challenge (that I so often feel overwhelmed by) or in the gift of closeness with my Savior and my God?

Previously, the emphasis of my heart in this song has been on the sorrow of surrender (of my plans, hopes, and dreams, as I realize in my own strength I lack full control), with a glimmer of faith in the trial that I can trust God in the midst of the pain and uncertainty.

I do know that He is wise, good, and strong. And that He is there, even when life feels like it is falling apart. This knowing has been mostly head knowledge, with a small flicker of heart engagement.

And God has met me in these past weeks of directing me through His Word and various resources, as well as in the midst of prayers and tears, and is showing me that the hope offered isn’t the consolation prize but is itself the treasure, a truth to be cherished, not as a second rate option but as immensely valuable itself.

It’s not, “Well, if I can’t have my first choice (resolution of the trial by absence of difficulty), at least there’s a little leftover consolation prize in hoping in God, while I grieve “missing out” on the “best” outcome.”

Instead, it is something in the form of, “No matter what happens, whether I get the outcome I think is “best” (from my perspective), there is hope because in both scenarios there is God.” God is equally good and hope can be equally enjoyed in any scenario because God is the same and He is the ultimate treasure in both scenarios. The nuances of each situation will differ and I still in my human nature desire a specific resolution, but both include the presence and beauty of God.

There is a new heart level perspective of trusting that God’s will is good and that there is full hope and full joy still available, come what may. Because the hope is about Him, and He is faithful, unchanging and that He cares.

I know You're able
And I know You can
Save through the fire
With Your mighty hand
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone

I know the sorrow
And I know the hurt
Would all go away
If You'd just say the word
But even if You don't
My hope is You alone

If I really believe these truths, that He is able and can do all things, and I trust His wisdom and goodness and care for me, then the question “Why doesn’t He?” is less a sorrowful cry or accusation, and more an actual inquiry or introspective question.

If God is wise (and He is), if God cares (I believe He does), then there is a reason behind the length and characteristics of the trial I face. Various reasons could be speculated, mostly in line with discipline of (corrective/refining or preparative/strengthening), the refining of my heart and my faith.

Ultimately the question is, “Will I trust His decision is good and for my good? Will I value Him as the ultimate treasure, above all gifts He could give me (including the resolution of this trial)?”

Silversmiths are very intentional with both the intensity and duration of the heat as they refine the silver in the furnace. Is not God more knowledgeable and loving in the refining He works in our own lives?

https://silentword.org/the-story-of-the-silversmith/

Looking to His character, both revealed in Scripture and throughout history, including His faithfulness to me and the ways He has worked in ways that were beyond my understanding in the past, I will cling to the hope that is in Jesus. And ultimately remember that it is His strength holding on to me that is sustaining me.

You've been faithful
You've been good
All of my days
Jesus, I will cling to You
Come what may
'Cause I know You're able
I know You can